GoLi Chang Mobile Back to Act 9-16


HOP Three:


The Never Ending Stream Of Chang



[The scene opens to a bright high noon and Titas Noncoloscopie (Romantic Man), “RoMan”, riding a golf cart being driven by the uniformed Marine, ‘CID’, out on a golf course.]


CID: “We didn’t have time: who would we say something to anyway?! A junk ambulance dumped him off over here one night and the next day, it’s on the national news that he’s not dead and he’s one of the fat kids from the Chang mobile: the dumping ambulance driver.”


[CID suddenly turns the golf cart into a fast full circle to avoid a cluster of trees; RoMan quickly reaches forward to grab a support bar to stop himself from tumbling out the open side door of the passenger seat.]


RoMan: “Colonel Statt could or should have contacted the proper authorities.”


[CID abruptly stops the cart: RoMan’s instantaneous jolt ends with a sigh of relief.]


CID: “The proper authorities? Like who, DEA? Colonel Statt was supposed to call up DEA and say Chang is most certainly dead because... We have the corpse—the totally deceased body laid right here, right now—to prove it: a fat kid ambulance driver dumped him here at the base and to go get off for CNN or national publicity as the dead guy. Why would anyone think that Chang was Chang just because he’s saying he’s the same one? Do you get it? Do you know what I mean? How would we explain Chang as Chang? It’s not like we get a bunch of dead bodies dumped here everyday: none of us have practiced explaining a dead body to whoever or whatever might be proper authorities. And why would I think Colonel Statt did not call proper authorities: are you saying he didn’t because you know for sure?”


[RoMan turns his head slightly to face CID: RoMan exaggerates raising his eyebrows while exhaling a flare of exasperation.]


RoMan: “Just explain exactly how you and Captain Tokin got involved; did Colonel Statt call you or what?”


CID: “NO. The ambulance driver called me as Chang with Chang’s cell phone; I recognized the number—we were golf buddies and he was Colonel Statt’s wife’s son: my phone number was on his phone—and he said he was super sick. He said he’d tried to call his mother—Colonel Statt’s wife, JaySing—but she wasn’t answering her phone and he was thinking about calling an ambulance to take him to University hospital. He sounded gagging—strange—or really sick. He asked me to come help him and so? I called Brian Tokin; I told him what I thought was going on and asked him to meet me ASAP on the parking lot at the back of the base’s postal station where Chang worked: it’s where the Chang imposter said he was at. Tokin got to the parking lot almost as quickly as me: a weird looking ambulance was already sitting there. And then suddenly, the back door of that Chang mobile opened wide to reveal Chang, the corpse. Two other fat kid ambulance guys started sliding a stretcher out the back with the real dead Chang on it: thud! The stretcher was on the ground—the dead body was down—and it happened so fast! The one ambulance driver standing outside at the back door jumped back into the cab and just drove off. A dead body staring at us is not easily explained and the dead body is or was our superior officer’s wife’s son. It’s not like we freaked out: we called Colonel Statt. By 7am the next morning, one of the three from the fat kid ambulance gang—as Chang—was on the news telling a story about unbelievable DEA abuse.”


[RoMan shakes his head to acknowledge understanding.]


RoMan: “And Colonel Statt said?”


[CID lifts his hands to rub his eyes before dropping his arms back to his lap.]


CID: “The night before? Colonel Statt said to put the stretcher—with Chang on it—into the back of my truck and drive over to the helicopter hanger with the freezer room: only the repairs one has a freezer. He said he would meet us there to unlock the door and we could put Chang in there until the next morning. And then he met us there to unlock the door.”


[RoMan crosses his arms over his chest and settles further back onto the golf cart seat.]


RoMan: “Why did you call Tokin: another golf buddy?”


[RoMan looks over at CID with his eyes only: CID’s slow grimace is that of an ashamed person.]


CID: “Yeah. Tokin is a decent guy: I didn’t want to be by myself with Chang; the whole Chang issue sounded freaky and if anything, Tokin is a little too easy going. Golf buddy, sure: we recently spent a lot of time together going through diving training; not every Marine Corp officer has to get a diving certificate like Navy officers or Coast Guard—Marines are the ground force of Navy—but we both wanted to do it.”


[RoMan takes a photograph out of his shirt pocket and hands it over to CID.]


RoMan: “Do you recognize anyone in this photograph? It was taken at Jewel Cove on the night we think two divers took the deceased Chang out of an underwater bathroom there.”


[CID takes the photograph and stares down at it without looking at RoMan.]


CID: “Reclaimed by the sea: submerged. I’m not a great person, Noncoloscopie: I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, okay? My only real accomplishment is being a Marine: I’ve never maliciously plotted to hurt anyone else but a lack of premeditation doesn’t always prevent damage from being done. You come over here with your Army investigator backbone of steel and what is your point? That guy there is unmistakably Dr. Swarmer.”


[CID holds the photograph back over towards RoMan and drops it onto RoMan’s leg; after fastidiously returning it to his shirt pocket, RoMan slides smoothly off the golf cart’s passenger seat to stand just outside the open right side: he stretches his legs and arms, then leans down slightly to peer back inside at CID.]


RoMan: “Sure. My point is I’m a crime investigator for the US Army. I’m doing my job: sometimes that means actual arrests—apprehensions—of violent criminals and despite whether or not they are stupid as hell. How do you know about Dr. Swarmer?”


[CID raises his hands to grip the steering wheel of the golf cart while blowing out a throaty deep breath.]


CID: “Chang and sort of Tokin. We went to pick up Chang at the postal station for a round of golf one day and he was standing outside talking to the guy; when Tokin saw him standing there with Chang, he said, “Hey, it’s the Nazi guy who stalked me outside Ennovy’s place.” When Chang got into the truck, I asked him who was that guy: Chang said—like no big deal—Dr. Swarmer from University.”


[RoMan places both hands onto the top of the golf cart: he bends his knees into a slight squat and intensifies the fierceness of his facial expression with a more direct stare into the cart at CID.]


RoMan: “Ennovy: you mean Haliwt, Ms. Greberf? So, you know about her too.”


CID: “Haliwt?! Not personally: Tokin said some things and I read some things; San Devilo is still kind of small town for a big city. And “Ennovy” was born to live and breathe FYI: she knows about Dr. Swarmer. They dated until he started stalking her “visitors” or customer patients as they were leaving her place at the end of “session” time—long before she started the instruction of Dr. Da Chen’s class—and right after Dr. Da Chen’s wife was found murdered inside their home on La Olla Harms Road. Swarmer accused Tokin—outside Ennovy’s place on the parking lot at the back of her patio—of dancing and laughing with her inside... (CID releases a rasping sound of incredibility) According to Tokin, it got weird: he asked Tokin if he’d done other—more sexual—things with her; Tokin said he was like a Nazi. Dr. Swarmer looks like a Nazi.”


[CID glances up towards RoMan across the interior open space of the golf cart: RoMan slightly juts his jaw forward and intentionally squints with his eyes back at CID; CID quickly turns his head straight forward to evade RoMan’s stare.]


RoMan: “What did Tokin say about other or more sexual things with her?”


[CID shakes his head from side to side and laughs silently.]


CID: “No no, not me: that cannot be a question related to your crime investigation. The known facts—The Chang Of Events—Chang was alive but suffering seizure fits when he got picked up by the ambulance from DEA; Chang was totally deceased when the Chang mobile dumped him off here at the base: the fat kid ambulance gang either drove Chang around until he died and then some? Or he died at University hospital? He wasn’t stinky: Chang was chilled out.”


[CID shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. RoMan swiftly straightens his posture and starts walking across the golf green away from the cart.]


CID: “Hey! Don’t you want a ride?”


[RoMan keeps walking without looking back at the golf cart: he tilts his head up towards the sun and shouts...]




[RoMan impulsively tries to alter his dignified gait to a skip but almost immediately reverts back to a dedicated, taut-spined walk as the scene closes from behind him.]



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